Sorry, I Couldn't Hear You. Your Shirt Is Too Loud.

I have a few beefs with current fashion, and how the mainstream population are rocking it. Whenever I drive around or walk through town, my eyes are assaulted by at least one member of the public wearing an outfit that they just shouldn't. Granted, it may be a trendy outfit, but the lesson that we all need to learn is - trends aren't for everyone. Certain trends suit certain figures, and it pays to have honest friends when you go shopping. It can save much heartache and confusion when passersby fall to the ground, screaming and clawing at their eyes.

SHORT SHORTS

Yes, I know that it's summer. Yes, I know that denim is a wardrobe staple. However, I do not need to be exposed to that much of you. I also do not need to see you pull the shorts down from between your legs where they have been riding up. Short shorts do suit some people - these are those magical people that have nice, shapely legs, and little to no cellulite. If you insist on wearing short shorts, put them over some tights or leggings. Looks fab, and doesn't scare small children.

LEGGINGS

There seems to be some sort of misconception that leggings are pants. They are not. They're like tights, with foot holes.They work well under dresses and skirts. Leggings do not cover any of the following: visible panty lines, muffin tops, jiggly bits. Just because you've covered your thighs with fabric does not mean that they won't jiggle when you walk. It just means that you'll distract people because the pattern on your leggings has now become one of those magic eye things.

Like short shorts, leggings actually DO suit some people. These people make up about 2% of the population.

HIPSTER PANTS

This is a trend that has just taken off in the past few years. And the thing is, some of the people committing the cardinal sin with it have great figures. They just don't take into account the fact that hipster pants create that most unappealing of fashion no-no's - the muffin top. It's so easy to do - I'll admit that I've probably rocked a muffin top a few times because I just REALLY WANTED to wear that particular outfit. Now, I don't care if the waistband of my pants comes halfway up my stomach; I will have smooth lines only. If all you have to do is wear a pair of pants that sit an inch higher than hipsters in order to achieve this, why would you do otherwise? And don't even get me started about the over-exposure of people's butts...

BRA-SHOWING OUTFITS

I was thinking about this is regards to those lacy singlets that are around at the moment. You can't just wear those straight over a bra - you need to think this through. Wear a singlet underneath. Try that crazy u-shaped bra. I don't know - do SOMETHING. I do not need to see the pattern on the cups of your bra, nor do I need to see the old, saggy elastic on the back of it. I understand that occasionally a bra strap may make itself known. That's cool. It happens to the best of us. The rest of your bra, however, should remain a secret to you, and you only. I don't need to be able to tell the exact cup size of a complete stranger, merely because I can see the label on the back of it. Keep it to yourself people.

Upon trawling the internet for images for this blog post, I came across something brilliant (as well as lots of scary things that I'm desperately trying to forget that I saw). This lass has written a great post on jeggings. It's funny, because it's true.

What's your pet fashion hate? What keeps you awake at night, trying to erase it from your mind's eye?

Fiddlesticks

Yesterday I picked up a wonderfully 90's dress in the op-shop, and my head was filled with visions of alterations and all sorts of excitement that could make it acceptable for public viewing. Granted, my alteration skills aren't fantabulous - my skills extend only as far as taking things up, letting them out, and mending them. This project was a little ambitious for me.

BEFORE

Please note:

• Shoulder pads that create a shoulder span enviable of any American footballer
• Gaping buttons over... bodice area
• Flattering length that makes me look like someone's well-intended spinster aunt
• Cute fabric

I was so excited about its potential that by the time I got home I had a killer headache and had to have a little nap. Until this morning. But today, after my Sunday morning laze about and coffee out on the patio, I got straight into that sucker.

1. Removed the shoulder pads (such a shame really. I enjoy looking like I could balance pint jugs on my shoulders).
2. Cut the sleeves off, leaving an inch of fabric to be folded under the edge to create the new hem.
3. Added darts to the bodice - those shoulders REALLY didn't want to stay down.
4. Folded back the top of the neckline, to create a collar-type effect.
5. Sewed buttons back onto the outside of the collar, to create a feature. Yeah, a feature. I'm so fancy that I astound myself sometimes.
6. Took the length up.

And this is what I ended up with:

AFTER

Collar

The neckline now sits really nicely, and I'm so pleased with myself for actually doing it that I skipped through the house a few times, forcing Susie to praise me. I didn't even have to unpick anything that I'd done! Now, that's what I call an accomplishment.

I've also finished Jake's mobile phone cosy. As anticipated, it was very fiddly. What was not anticipated was which bit would be fiddly. The applique was the part that I was concerned about. And yes, it was fiddly, but easy enough to do. The body, however... led to me using MA+ rated language, and smoking furiously on the patio several times. I won't go in to what went wrong, but suffice it to say that I'm not as good at using maths as I think I am.

I'm really happy with the finished product, and through years of counselling and help from friends, I will slowly but surely recover from the trauma of making it.

Image from deviantart

It's A Cover-Up

I'm a sucker for song covers. I can't help but bop along to songs that I already know the words to, but that have that new sound to them. Old songs done in a punk style are my favourites, but there are a few others that I totally dig. I thought I'd share a few with you, so that you can start off the weekend in a boppy mood too.

Me First and The Gimme Gimmes are one of my all-time favourite bands. They ONLY do punk covers of songs, and pretty much every single one is rad. The don't limit themselves to covering only one style though - they've covered Dolly Parton, Stevie Wonder, Cat Stevens, Boys II Men, and Blondie, just to name a few. My love of the band is also not hurt by the fact that I want to marry Spike Slawson. He might run kind of funny, but he sure is purdy.

As well as being an awesome cover, this is one of my favourite video clips. I actually quite like Kelly Clarkson anyway (But shhhh. Don't tell anybody - it's my shameful secret) and when I came across this band I nearly wet myself with excitement. Cover + metal band + amusing video parody = a very happy girl.

My friend tipped me off to this chick, and she's crazy good. This is probably my fave of her songs, but she also does some great covers of Incubus and Kings Of Leon.

And one last one for the old-school Sesame Street fans out there. This may either amuse you or traumatise you - it's 50/50.

Are you bopping now? Are you ready for the weekend? Or did that last video just make you cry? If so, go have a nice lay down and a hot drink, and you'll be good to go in an hour or two.

Fill In The Blanks

Hello and egad. I am excited about going back to NSW in 1 week and 3 days for a holiday (but who’s counting? Oh that’s right – I am). While I’m there, I plan on eating my body weight in sushi and Krispy Kreme. In preparation for my trip, I am planning on making a hair straightener cosy, altering what I am referring to as my summer dresses, and have called my friends and told them that they’d better be excited to see me. In the meantime, I will bore everybody to death by talking about my trip.

The countdown is on, and I’m positively gleeful about the whole thing. There are a few things on my to-do list that I’m hoping to get done before I go though.

1. Organise a craft room (DONE!)

Susie and I turned the spare room into a bonafide craft room. It’s fan-snazzy. We spent one day last week using the hand trolley, and carting random crap…. I mean, beloved items from my family's past… down to the basement. We then set up the trestle table, my stereo, some incense, and all other manner of necessary crafty items in the room.

It’s still looking a little un-crafty in there because Susie wants to be able to easily convert it into a guest room if people come to stay. I plan on stealthing arty-facts in there while she’s not looking.

2. Make Jake’s birthday present

My friend Jake has requested a handmade birthday present – a mobile cosy with a dragon on it. I spent a few days debating how I was going to do it (appliqué, embroidery, fabric paint, gluing a picture from a magazine on it and pretending that that’s an awesome art style), and decided upon appliqué, with fabric paint as a Plan B. I started it yesterday, and it seems to be going well so far. It was reeeeally fiddly, and wasn’t helped by the fact that I had too much caffeine yesterday. It’s a pretty small design, but I patiently sat and hand-stitched the edges. And my fingers. Now I’m just hoping that I don’t stuff up the rest of it…

3. Make a straightener cosy

I came across this fab (and really clever) tutorial on how to make a heat-resistant case for your hair straightener. It’s so simple and obvious that I was tempted to slap my forehead once I read it. Why didn’t I think of that?

4. Alter and mend some clothing

I’ve already got a head-start on this one, and only have a few little bits and pieces left to do. Hurrah for a completely thrifted wardrobe! This is one that I prepared earlier.

Do I look like I work in a bank? Yes, I do. Do I love it? Yes. Yes, I do.

I Have Paper And I'm Not Afraid To Use It

Well, actually, I WAS kind of worried. Yesterday I sat down to do some scrapbooking for the first time in quite a while. I still had three layouts to finish from my "Year In Review" series, which I'd intended to finish before the end of 2010, but somehow the end came and went, and I was still just sitting here trying to remember where I'd left my scissors.

It's always a bit of a worry going back to a craft after having a break from it. There are times while scrapbooking that I've just sat and stared at the papers. I'm not exactly sure what good this does, but perhaps if I concentrate REALLY hard, they'll arrange themselves into some sort of pleasing configuration.

Yesterday wasn't like that though. Yesterday was one of those magical days where everything just seemed to work. And I could find my scissors with ease.

The first layout is for September. September is when I started doing volunteer work at the RSPCA, so I thought I'd do a little something on that. The background is part of a vintage pillowcase stuck to some cardstock, and the frills are just different scraps that I had laying around (mainly October Afternoon and The Girls Paperie).

"Caring For September"

The next layout is for November, when we started the Made With Love Bazaar. I know that these photos are actually from the December markets we had, but I like them. So there. The paper is the "Simply Stylish Collection" from Scribble Scrabble, and the chipboard dressing table is from Dusty Attic. Dusty Attic have THE best chipboard shapes. The polka dot doily was a pressie from my lovely scrappy friend Gill.

"November Is Made With Love"

And finally - December. These paper are The Girls Paperie "On Holiday" range. Even though I was doing paper stuff, I seemed to keep wanting to get my sewing machine out, so I've stitched over the top of the dress pattern borders. The brown frame was an awesome op-shop find.

"Discover December"

Whew. The year is now finished, paper-craft style. Hurrah!

Also, for all of those scrappy gals (and guys) out there who know how cool they are, my clever friend Michelle has designed a tee just for you. Check it out. Buy it. Wear it with pride.

Peace, Love And Mung Beans

Last Saturday was our third Made With Love market, and we rocked it out in our 70's/hippy clothes. There were many peace signs, talk of lentils, and some drumming. That's what happened in the 70's, isn't it?

Allana and her lovely stall

Nardia's goodies

Our new OH&S friendly clothes hanging system

Georgia's awesome pendants and decorations

Michelle's kiddly clothing

Michelle rocking out on the drum

Susie's first stall at Made With Love

Michelle and Jaclyn's rad artwork

Georgia

Jaclyn's incredible jewellery

Michelle and Claire's little girl Maggie

Michelle and Claire in the back of Claire's Mum's camper van

Michelle and Claire

Claire

Me

Me again!

"I'm not loved up enough to be loved up."

Michelle Walker, 2011

It Was Love At First Sight

No, really, it was. The moment I laid eyes on her, I knew that she was the one. All thoughts of witty repartee and casual conversation flew from my head. My eyes glazed, my heart started beating faster, and I may have even drooled a little bit. Not the most impressive of responses, but I just know that she felt it too. She sat there waiting for me to come to her, and I was drawn across the room. She’s quirky, comfortable to be around and a little worn around the edges, but I know I can do right by her. I knew that I couldn’t leave without her – if I left there was a chance that I’d never see her again.

So I paid my $3.50 and walked out of Vinnies with a massive grin on my face.

I’m going to be doing some minor alterations on this – taking it up, and removing at least part of the bodice insert - but otherwise she’s just perfect *sigh*

PS. I'm no good with these fashion photo shoot things, so a cheesy grin is what you get. Don't judge me.

Doily Splat

Wow. So. Less than a week until the next Made With Love Bazaar, and I’m not exactly sure how that happened. I had many grand plans for over the Christmas break; all sorts of inspiration floating through my head. Sadly, that’s where they seem to have stayed.

One of my pieces of inspiration came from the amount of discarded boxer shorts I have picked up on my travels. While I’ve been making business shirt cushion covers, I’ve come to the realization that some pyjama tops have fantastic patterns on them. And piping. Oh, how I love piping. This lead to me ending up with a few awesome pairs of guy’s cotton boxer shorts, and thinking myself very lucky for having such variety for myself. Guy’s boxers are always so much more comfortable than chick’s – plus they actually cover your ass. However, there’s only so many pairs of boxer shorts that a girl needs.

So this week I’ve been working on some pyjama sets, using the aforementioned boxers, some brand spanking new singlets prettied up with some matching appliqué, and drawstring pyjama bags (I found a great tute for drawstring bags here). A fairly simple task - or so I assumed.

My main hassle occurred after effortlessly cutting out the appliqué design and bonding it to the singlet (if you do appliqué, and haven’t ever used Heat ‘N’ Bond before, stop whatever you’re doing and go to Spotlight to buy some. It is EXCELLENT! – when used correctly. Please read the instructions first. It’s like a double-sided interfacing that bonds your two pieces of fabric together and it makes everything soooo much easier. This message was brought to you by Turning Trixie Productions TM.) and I was surprising myself with the lack of effort. Normally simple things make themselves difficult once they reach my hands. Well. Once I got to my sewing machine it had other ideas about the difficulty level and played up something rotten. It kept skipping stitches and it took me a lot of time to figure it out.

Sarah Guide To Sewing Machine Troubleshooting:

• Unpick the mistake.
• Change the tension.
• Sew.
• Unpick.
• Change tension again.
• Sew.
• Unpick.
• Read manual.
• Change machine needle.
• Sew.
• Unpick.
• Rethread machine.
• Change tension.
• Sew.
• Unpick.
• Refer to manual again.
• Change tension.
• Sew.
• Headbutt table.
• Unpick.
• Change tension.
• Change stitch length.

Is it??!?... IS IT?!?!?... By George, I think I’ve fixed it!! That wasn’t difficult at all *eye twitch*

During this process I also concerned myself with the idea that perhaps my items would end up looking like appliqué splat, which is closely related to doily splat.

Doily Splat: When a doily has been taken in hand and thoughtlessly applied to an item, eg. cardigan, t-shirt, pillowcase, etc. Michelle and I spoke of this phenomenon one night when I’d rocked up to Stitch ‘N’ Bitch with a pillowcase and my doily box in tow (yes, I have a doily box. You’re so jealous right now.). The conversation threw me into an existential type crisis on when it IS ok to apply a doily to something, and whether I’d been misguidedly applying to doilies to all and sundry under the impression that I was doing some good in the world. My fears have been abated ,however, and in sewing, as in scrapbooking, you just need to work a doily into the design of your crafty item. You can’t just splat things anywhere – you need to think this shit through, people.

But anyway, it’s all finished now. And with only 6 days (!) to go until the next Made With Love, I’m hoping to get a few more things done, including picking up an awesome outfit for the next dress-up theme. Hurrah!

MADE WITH LOVE MARKET/BAZAAR
Saturday, 15th January
9:00am - 1:30pm
Artscape Building,
45 Jackson St,
Wynyard