Sunday, February 27, 2011

Come Here Often?


I have an admission to make - I've joined an online dating site.

*pause for stunned silence*

When I first moved here, I was all gung-ho about meeting new people, and you know... getting out of the house. Since that time, I've met a group of rad gals, started having stalls at the Made With Love Market Bazaar, and done other stuff. I became complacent about meeting more people, because, well... there's only so many cool people that my brain can take.

However, once I went back to Sydney and remembered what it's like to go out on a regular basis, I want more. MORE! And what is an efficient way to meet lots of people, and try and weed out the toolbags in the process? Why, that would be internet dating.

*pause for gasps of awe*

One of the things I like about this method is that I get to fully embrace any superificiality that I may have. It turns out that I have a lot of it. Too short? Denied. Enjoy wood-spinning? Denied. Can't spell? Denied.

It reminds me of one of my favourite Scrubs quotes:

Carla: What does your heart tell you?
JD: My heart hates uggo's.

Cruel, but funny. And ever so slightly true.

I take a delicious glee in reading profiles and laughing. I read a cracker of a profile today, and this guy was talking about how modest he is. And charming. And charismatic. And fit. So fit. His modesty ran on for several paragraphs, and it was like watching a car crash. Every sentence hurt me more, but I just couldn't stop reading. Or laughing.

There's an apparent lack of awareness about capitalisation, spelling and grammar (you know, those things that them posh people get into), and this bothers me but also makes me take a vicarious pleasure from having read your profile and dismissed you because of it. I will not accept cheap imitations.

Another thing that causes instant dismissal is wanting to treat "your lady like a printcess" (that person was so damned close to spelling princess right). Firstly, I swear too much to be considered a lady. Secondly, there are far too many guys out there wanting to treat someone like a princess. Tiaras don't suit me, pointy hats aren't my thing, and... well, I'm not a damned princess.

I also think that more people need to put a bit of thought into their screen names. goodlover105 was obviously already so aware of his own skills, that he didn't need me to tell him. As for anybody with the word "horny" involved in their name - I'm not even good with seeing public displays of affection. That is WAY too much information for me.

So far, it's been interesting, and I'm only a few days into it. There have already been toolbags doing their toolbaggy thing in my direction, but I kindly said a few sharp words, and deleted them from my contacts.

If only it was that easy in real life.

Stay posted for more internet misadventures.... Do you have any advice about this? Or your own success/epic fail stories?


  1. You're right, if nothing else reading what people have to say can be very entertaining. I have been known to delete women for poor spelling, but in hindsight my potential soulmate might have been a gorgeous lass who just wagged English classes a lot in high school.

    You can see a brief example of one of my experiences of internet dating in the middle of this post:

    Good luck, at the very least you might meet some new people and have some good stories to tell afterwards.

  2. Oh I've done the internet dating thing. I think for it to work you have to do it with a serious sense of humour (I reckon you've got that one covered), you have to not take the whole thing too seriously (not expecting too much), you need to set some standards & stick to them (not expecting too little - again, sounds like you've got that covered) and I think (this may be where I failed) you have to commit to it and not give up after three or four shitty dates.

    I know someone who was determined to meet a man who fit all her requirements (and boy, did she have some requirements) and actually did meet someone (they're getting married). But it took a frillion and a half dates just to get to that point. And she didn't compromise on any of her deal-breakers.

    So I reckon good on you for giving it a go. At the very least, you can now say you've done it. And you will very definitely have some entertaining stories to tell friends (especially at Stitch n Bitch!)

  3. hehehehe god you make me laugh!! can't wait to talk to you about this. go girl, it's awesome!


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