Sunday, February 27, 2011
I have an admission to make - I've joined an online dating site.
*pause for stunned silence*
When I first moved here, I was all gung-ho about meeting new people, and you know... getting out of the house. Since that time, I've met a group of rad gals, started having stalls at the Made With Love Market Bazaar, and done other stuff. I became complacent about meeting more people, because, well... there's only so many cool people that my brain can take.
However, once I went back to Sydney and remembered what it's like to go out on a regular basis, I want more. MORE! And what is an efficient way to meet lots of people, and try and weed out the toolbags in the process? Why, that would be internet dating.
*pause for gasps of awe*
One of the things I like about this method is that I get to fully embrace any superificiality that I may have. It turns out that I have a lot of it. Too short? Denied. Enjoy wood-spinning? Denied. Can't spell? Denied.
It reminds me of one of my favourite Scrubs quotes:
Carla: What does your heart tell you?
JD: My heart hates uggo's.
Cruel, but funny. And ever so slightly true.
I take a delicious glee in reading profiles and laughing. I read a cracker of a profile today, and this guy was talking about how modest he is. And charming. And charismatic. And fit. So fit. His modesty ran on for several paragraphs, and it was like watching a car crash. Every sentence hurt me more, but I just couldn't stop reading. Or laughing.
There's an apparent lack of awareness about capitalisation, spelling and grammar (you know, those things that them posh people get into), and this bothers me but also makes me take a vicarious pleasure from having read your profile and dismissed you because of it. I will not accept cheap imitations.
Another thing that causes instant dismissal is wanting to treat "your lady like a printcess" (that person was so damned close to spelling princess right). Firstly, I swear too much to be considered a lady. Secondly, there are far too many guys out there wanting to treat someone like a princess. Tiaras don't suit me, pointy hats aren't my thing, and... well, I'm not a damned princess.
I also think that more people need to put a bit of thought into their screen names. goodlover105 was obviously already so aware of his own skills, that he didn't need me to tell him. As for anybody with the word "horny" involved in their name - I'm not even good with seeing public displays of affection. That is WAY too much information for me.
So far, it's been interesting, and I'm only a few days into it. There have already been toolbags doing their toolbaggy thing in my direction, but I kindly said a few sharp words, and deleted them from my contacts.
If only it was that easy in real life.
Stay posted for more internet misadventures.... Do you have any advice about this? Or your own success/epic fail stories?