An Online Date In Real Time

Or, That Awkward Moment When You Realise That You’re A Dickhead.

There was just a point during the afternoon when I realised that I had been talking about funny youtube videos for too long. You know those “you had to be there” moments? It was possibly like that.

But hey, I didn’t get dumped in the bush somewhere. Things are looking up.

Actually, it was a lovely afternoon. I met up with… oh, let’s call him Tarzan… at a café. The café that I had chosen to meet at was closed due to the whole Easter business going on at the moment. So I spent a few minutes standing out the front of this place, ever-so-casually leaning against the wall. See how casual I am? Man, I’m casual.

We traversed to another café, where we made fun of bogans and discussed all matter of important topics.  After we ran out of important topics, we decided to go for a drive to Boat Harbour. I’ve never actually been there before, so it was a bit of an education. Turns out that there aren't really any boats there. As Tarzan remarked, there's a bit of false advertising going on there.

Tarzan and I went for a lovely walk on the rocky outcrop thing that’s there, and I pointed out a place that’d be good for dumping a body. How is it that I’m still single? I just don’t know.

After a while of trying to figure out if some birds sitting on a rock were penguins or just pseudo-penguins, we went and sat on a bench at the beach. It was really nice. The sun occasionally made itself known, and there was none of that pressure to talk. Or in my case, no pressure to further embarrass myself. We chatted about all sorts of things, and had a good laugh or two.

Then something impressive happened.

Tarzan looked to the side, and realised that somebody was actually getting married. Well, not just somebody, there were actually 2 people there getting married. I think that people have figured out that it works better if there’s more than one person there. Marriage on the beach – that’s pretty old hat, and not remarkably impressive.

What really caught our fancy is the fact that BEHIND the nearly married bliss taking place, two young teeny-bopper chicks had decided to go for a bit of a paddle. They’d taken their pants off, and waded into the water. Placing themselves (I like to think that they were unaware) strategically in the frame of the video being shot of the ceremony. They photobombed the shit out of that romantic moment.

It was so beautiful *wipes away tear*

And that was my first foray into the world of meeting people from an online dating site. It was pleasant, amusing, had a memorable romantic moment, and there were no snakes involved.

What more could you ask for?